He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
