So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
