someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
