so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
this will be a night to untag.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you inspire me to be a worse person
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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