HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
