Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
