My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
