yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
