And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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