I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
