What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
