Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
