that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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