Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
