suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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