I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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