I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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