I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
