so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just tell him i said nine months
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
