so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
