What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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