So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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