well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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