no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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