I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
