I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
