There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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