i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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