piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
