I want to have your abortion
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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