whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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