i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
