Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
