PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
