Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
