Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
