so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
