my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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