Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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