I CAN MOONWALK!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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