In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
