you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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