No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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