An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
