Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
