if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
