all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
