would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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