Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
