Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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