i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He kissed a someone with a penis
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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