did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
