I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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